Forget Me Not
by wackyjacqs
Summary: 'At the going down of the sun, and in the morning, we will remember them…' because even in death, they are never forgotten. An attempt at a missing scene from S8, Threads. Oneshot.


**A/N: Today is 'Forget Me Not' Day, which is very fitting as it is also Remembrance Sunday in the UK and the north of Ireland. Remembrance Sunday is always held on the second Sunday of November and is a day to commemorate those who have served, or are serving, their country and those whose lives have been given and taken in the two World Wars and other conflicts since. **

**I was invited to a special Remembrance Service this morning, and as the congregation gathered around the memorial, an officer played 'Last Post' as a wreath was laid. It was one of the most humbling, heartbreaking and beautiful experiences I've ever been a part of, and as I listened to the music, I thought of family I've lost in the war, as well as two of my close friends who are currently serving in the Middle East. **

**I hadn't planned to write anything today, but I decided to watch Threads a couple of hours ago (I know, what an episode to choose when I've been crying most of the day!) but I started to think about how Sam would feel as she remembered her father following his death. This hasn't been beta read, and I apologize if it doesn't make much sense… it's been an emotional day. :(**

**Set in S8, Threads. Oneshot. Flashbacks are in italics.**

* * *

**Forget Me Not (Nov 10)**

* * *

The day Samantha Carter had to say goodbye to her father had finally arrived.

As the car came to a slow stop, she brushed her fingers over the silver oak leaves on her shoulders one final time, and was suddenly reminded of the first time she held an oak leaf in her hand.

* * *

_She had just turned five and her parents had taken both her and Mark to the local park. It had been a crisp autumn morning and the leaves had already started to change color as they danced, flew and swirled unpredictably as they fell to the ground and gathered together into their own little groups. _

_The mix of reds, oranges, and yellows decorated the ground and as Sam's mom held one of her hands and her father held the other, she let out an excited squeal as she was lifted into the air before being brought back down, her small rain boots making contact with the crunchy carpet beneath. _

_They had spent hours together as a family that day, repeating the same simple actions over and over again, until eventually they grew tired. _

_As they made their way back to the car, Sam had lifted a large oak leaf and her father told her with a smile to plant it carefully and another tree would grow in its place._

* * *

Smiling sadly at the memory, Sam noted she was still waiting for that tree to grow.

As she stepped out of the car, she glanced around at her surroundings. The morning sun was still low in the sky, and just starting to peak from behind the cemetery's hills, causing long shadows to form on the ground. Shielding her eyes, the Colonel noticed the early morning dew glistening brightly as it caught the sunlight. It reminded her of the way the stars twinkled in the sky and she adjusted her service hat as she was hit by another memory.

* * *

_She had been nine years old and her parents had bought her a beginner's telescope for her birthday two weeks earlier. This particular evening, however, had been the first clear night since so her father had promised to show Sam the constellations. _

_They had been well prepared for sitting outdoors on a cold, winter night with blankets and a flask of hot chocolate to keep them warm. _

_It had taken the two of them a while, but Sam would never forget the joy, the excitement, the possibilities she experienced when she spotted her first star.  
_

_According to her father, it had been the star 'Markab', which was part of the Pegasus constellation._

* * *

Focusing back on her surroundings, Sam mused at how fitting the discovery was in the grand scheme of things.

As the morning progressed, the ceremony seemed to pass in a blur and as Sam stood at the graveside and listened to the chaplain throughout the final invocation, she felt herself tense with each second she stood to attention. She felt overwhelmed; her emotions threatening to break free and the tears stain her cheeks.

Just like it had all those years ago.

* * *

_Sam had been 12 years old when it happened. _

_She had been baking - chocolate chip cookies – when her father had returned home, his eyes red and raw. It was the first time Sam had seen him cry and she knew. _

_She knew it was because of her mom. _

_At that moment, nothing would be the same for the Carter family again._

* * *

Realizing the chaplain had finished his message, the silence around Sam was deafening and her breath caught when she saw the Officer-in-Charge give the command to the firing squad to ready their rifles.

She flinched slightly as the first volley echoed across the sky. The second and third volley also thundered across the cloudless sky and Sam squeezed her eyes shut.

* * *

_By the age of 18, Sam and her father knew she was preparing to enter the Academy, so for her birthday that year, it was no surprise when the pair paid a visit to the shooting range. _

_It was the first time she'd held a gun, let alone fired one, and while there was a nervous excitement around her, Sam was also terrified. She examined the weapon as it rested in her hand, the heavy, cold metal contrasting with her warm, slightly sweaty palm. _

_She listened intently to her father as he instructed her on what to do and as she slowly lined up her target, she wondered how many times she might be forced to pull the trigger against a real target in the future. _

_When she did finally fire off a few rounds, the adrenaline surged through her veins but she would never forget the swell of emotions as that first shot echoed loudly around the range._

* * *

Just like it echoed throughout the cemetery now.

Releasing a shaky breath, Sam forced herself to open her eyes, even though she knew what was about to happen next. She thought she would have had to face this moment six years ago, but as she held her breath, she realised the wait didn't ease the pain she now felt.

* * *

_She had been two years into the Stargate Program when she learned of her father's cancer. Once close, they had drifted apart after Sam had joined the Academy, and then, when they had briefly reunited in Washington, it hadn't been one of celebration. They had been torn even farther apart, and Sam had been left devastated knowing her dad was dying. _

_His condition had deteriorated quickly and Sam had been prepared to say goodbye, but then salvation arrived in the form of the Tok'ra. _

_"Dad?" Sam said warily as she and General Hammond met him at the hospital._

_"What's going on, Sam? I said you didn't need to check up on me," he replied angrily._

_"Listen to your daughter, Jacob," Hammond cut in carefully, before any disagreements could start._

_Sighing, Jacob looked impatiently from Sam, to George and back again._

_"Well?" he demanded._

_"We might have a cure, dad."_

_Not a day went by, when Sam didn't silently thank the Tok'ra for saving her father's life._

* * *

The unmistakable opening notes of Taps started and Sam dropped her head to her chest. It was an emotional piece of music and pulled on the heartstrings of even the toughest of soldiers.

For Sam, hearing the notes come from the bugle as it echoed into the future, simultaneously conjured up memories of the recent past. Memories of those, other than her father, she has commemorated in this way, and how many more would have to pay the price.

* * *

"_Hey."_

_"Hi, Sir."_

_A heavy silence fell between them as they held each other's gaze. _

_"Y'alright?"_

_Sam felt herself nod in response, before she stopped and shrugged. "No, I don't think I am, Sir," she answered honestly, her voice wavering._

_The Colonel nodded slowly. He knew exactly how she was feeling. _

_"It never gets any easier." _

_"She shouldn't even… She should still be here," Carter answered hotly, the unshed tears burning her eyes._

_"I know."_

_"Cassie's lost another mom."_

_"I know."_

_"And I've lost my best friend," she whispered, as a single tear broke free and travelled down her face._

_"I know," Jack whispered. He pursed his lips, he gestured for Sam to move towards him. _

_"C'mere," he murmured. _

_He wrapped his arms around her as she buried her head against his chest. When he felt Sam's arms slide up his arms and around his neck, he pulled her tighter. _

_"We'll get through this together, Sam," he whispered brokenly. "You, me and Cassie. Always," he added, before pressing a feather-light kiss in her hair._

* * *

As the notes continued to fill the air, Sam brushed a hand across her face and wiped away the tears now flowing freely. She sniffled softly and let her arm fall back to her side. It had only been there for a second when she felt someone slip their hand into hers. They fitted together perfectly, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

There was no mistaking the warmth, the strength, and reassurance held in that one simple gesture, and it gave Sam hope that she had made finally the right decision following one of her final conversations with her father.

* * *

_"Just listen to what I have to say, Sam."_

_"Okay."_

_Jacob propped himself up on the infirmary bed, desperately trying to work through the pain it was sending through his body. He grimaced when he started coughing and was thankful when a straw and cup of water appeared in front of him. _

_"Easy, dad," she soothed, running a hand over his forehead and he tried to catch his breath. "Better?"_

_"Yeah, I'm good kid," he answered. "Look, I don't want you to be upset when I'm gone."_

_"Dad –"_

_"I said to listen Sam. I don't have much time," he pleaded._

_Closing her eyes, she nodded. _

_"You pretend not to know what I'm talking about, but you're too smart for that."_

_He reached out and grabbed his daughter's hand. _

_"You deserve to be happy… to be with someone who makes you happy. That someone… I know it isn't Pete."_

_When Sam didn't answer, he continued. "I'm not going to tell you what to do Sammy… while you'll always be my little girl, you can make your own decisions… but… just promise me one thing?"_

_"Of course," she answered, her voice thick with tears. _

_"You've been through a hell of a lot these past eight years… we all have… but things are changing now. The threat… it's no longer there. The rules… the ones that have defined you, your relationships since the day you started… it's different. They can be broken… For once, just ignore your head and follow your heart… Don't ever forget that. Okay?"_

_"I said 'okay', Sam?" _

_Even in his weakening state, Jacob could see his daughter struggling with what he was telling her. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back onto the pillow. _

_"When I first met your mom… she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, but… I was too scared to ask her out," he admitted with a wry smile. "It would be another two months before I saw her again… and if anything, she was even more beautiful… but in those two months… I had no idea where she was, or what she was doing… I didn't even know her name," he said, slowly lifting his head and meeting Sam's eye. "But there was thing I did know. I loved her. She was my first thought when I woke up in the morning, and the last at night… that feeling… that is what you call love, Sam. You never forget the person who makes you feel alive… who makes you feel complete, Sam." _

_"I know," she whispered so quietly, Jacob strained to hear. "I've never forgotten."_

* * *

Sam kept her gaze straight ahead as she gently squeezed General O'Neill's hand in silent thanks, and once the final strains of Taps filtered overhead, she immediately missed the contact when he let go.

The Honor Guard moved in sync as they took up their positions on either side of General Jacob Carter's casket and they lifted the flag from where it lay. Sam watched their sharp movements closely, the material of the flag folded and tucked with precision.

Moments later, the Officer in Charge was standing before her.

"On behalf of the President of the United States, the Department of the Air Force, and the people of a grateful nation, I present this flag as a token of appreciation for the faithful and dedicated service of Major General Jacob Carter."

As she watched the Honor Guard retire and move away from the graveside, Sam stood to attention, remaining that way until the last of the escort disappeared out of view.

She heard the crowd begin to disperse around her, while the General moved closer and placed a hand on the small of her back, just like he had the night before.

* * *

_"Here," the General said softly, as he draped a blanket around Sam's shoulders and pulled it tight. _

_"Thank you, Sir."_

_A heavy sigh met her answer and she frowned. "Sir?"_

_"Do you think you could stop that for a bit?" he asked, gesturing vaguely between them. When she still looked confused, he added, "The 'Sir', thing." _

_Met with silence, he ran a hand across the back of his neck. _

_"Carter… Sam. I think we need to talk… without the Air Force getting in the way." _

_"Oh," she responded, ducking her chin. Missing the General's grimace, she was surprised at his next words. _

_"I'm not a man of many words – as you know – so… help me out here. What do you want?"_

_Sam's eyes flew to his and even in the dark night, as they stood on his rooftop observatory, Jack could see how bright they were shining._

_"What I want?" she repeated slowly. _

_"Yeah."_

_"I don't… I mean… I…" Sam shook her head as she tried to answer the General's question. The question scared her, as did any potential answer she had, because she knew that this was their moment – one that would make or break them._

_"Why me?" she asked._

_Jack pursed his lips and shrugged. _

_"Because I already know what I want."_

_"And what's that?"_

_"You." _

_Sam sucked in a breath and felt her eyes start to well up. "Sir…" She shook her head. "Jack. I –"_

_"What do you want, Sam?" he repeated softly._

_Closing her eyes, Sam suddenly heard her father's voice and the words had left her lips before she could stop them. _

_"I want to be happy." _

_"Okay," the General answered slowly, not quite expecting that answer. "And what will make you happy?"_

_She opened her eyes and forced herself to look at the man before her. The man who had been with her every step of the way over the last eight years, and who ultimately knew her better than she knew herself. She allowed herself the luxury of just looking at him, at being able to look at him; from his salt and peppered hair; to his left eyebrow, which was broken with the scars of war, to his five o'clock shadow. And then there were his eyes. _

_Those chocolate brown orbs that Sam had gotten lost in far too many times before. Eyes that were now boring into hers, reflecting the intensity. _

_All of a sudden, she knew what she wanted. And she was no longer afraid of the consequences. _

_Taking a step closer, Sam held the General's gaze when she simply said: "You." _

_She watched his expression change. Slowly, he closed the gap between them. _

_"Your sure?" _

_"Yes." _

_He grinned softly, and barely had enough time to say, "C'mere" before Sam was in his arms._

* * *

The General moved his hand from the small of Sam's back to her shoulder and she leaned into his touch.

Right here in this moment, in Jack's arms… _this _is what her father had been talking about. Here, she felt safe, complete… loved.

Hugging the flag closer to her chest, she closed her eyes and a soft smile graced her lips.

"I didn't forget dad, thank you. For everything," she whispered.

* * *

**A/N: I'm not sure if this format worked or not, so if it didn't please be honest. I haven't really attempted the introspective/retrospective(?) point of view before...**


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